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mokie_edomThe dream concerns a former friend and the small group of mutual friends she and I had.
I dreamt that I snuck into the secret clubhouse to see what she was up to, being concerned that she might be plotting against me. One of the mutual friends caught me in the act, and the former friend led the rest in to form a circle around me so I couldn't escape. She berated me, insulted me, screamed at me, and finally wound up with a religious tirade in which she asked her god to wreak vengeance upon me through her.
One of the girls was nervous and uncertain about what was going on, but the rest stood ready to act on her instructions.
Her eyes rolled, she foamed at the mouth, and finally, filled with the spirit, she lunged. I calmly whipped out a cord, wrapped it around her neck, and took her down to the floor. There was no passion or violence in my actions, just a calm knowledge that I was going about this all wrong, that I should have snapped her neck instead of trying to strangle her. I let go and stepped back, knowing she'd rise again.
When she did, she came at me again, but this time I was filled with the spirit--a different kind of spirit, though. I felt myself change, I felt extra limbs and blue skin and a machete that I had not possessed before in one of those extra hands. I slashed at her, decapitating her quickly without anger or hatred. Then I left them all there.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. I wrote the dream out on a sheet of paper since I didn't have my journal handy, then promptly lost the paper and forgot the dream. Better still, since I thought I'd be transcribing it shortly I didn't bother to note the date. Genius, pure genius. The former friend and I parted company quite a while ago, though, and I remember that the dream surprised me by coming so long after the event, so I would guess that the dream occurred sometime in early 2003.
#2. The secret clubhouse emphasizes the silliness of this whole situation. It was cold and snowy in the dream, with everyone decked out in winter coats and mittens, and I believe the secret clubhouse was indeed part snowfort. Very childish!
I'd gone out of my way to avoid the former friend, so as to avoid being drawn into any petty back-and-forth with her, but I did worry about mutual friends being put in an awkward spot by our break. (One, the nervous girl in the dream, had expressed some anxiety about the fallout of broken friendships, and saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.) The obvious childishness of the dream is, I think, a hint that I need to not worry about this; as I'm too old for such games and if they want to indulge in them, it's their prerogative.
#3. The religious conflict in the dream reflects a religious conflict between the former friend and me. She's an ecclectic Christian; I'm a sort-of Hindu. She claimed that I made anti-Christian comments; I don't remember doing so and she would not or could not offer up any examples of it. I am still a bit touchy on this issue, as I suspected (and still do) that the real issue was that I disagreed with her on a number of other issues. Labelling me as anti-Christian and making a bigotted villain of me was just easier for her than letting her friends have opinions and experiences that did not match her own.
I do not see the end of the dream as a triumph of my god over her god, or of my being right and her being wrong. If anything, I think there is in it a warning against that kind of thinking. I see an affirmation that I am stronger than I think, a reminder that I don't need to keep my guard up against future drama or worry about mutual friends in the line of fire. I simply need to draw a line between that time and this, and move on past it.
I dreamt that I snuck into the secret clubhouse to see what she was up to, being concerned that she might be plotting against me. One of the mutual friends caught me in the act, and the former friend led the rest in to form a circle around me so I couldn't escape. She berated me, insulted me, screamed at me, and finally wound up with a religious tirade in which she asked her god to wreak vengeance upon me through her.
One of the girls was nervous and uncertain about what was going on, but the rest stood ready to act on her instructions.
Her eyes rolled, she foamed at the mouth, and finally, filled with the spirit, she lunged. I calmly whipped out a cord, wrapped it around her neck, and took her down to the floor. There was no passion or violence in my actions, just a calm knowledge that I was going about this all wrong, that I should have snapped her neck instead of trying to strangle her. I let go and stepped back, knowing she'd rise again.
When she did, she came at me again, but this time I was filled with the spirit--a different kind of spirit, though. I felt myself change, I felt extra limbs and blue skin and a machete that I had not possessed before in one of those extra hands. I slashed at her, decapitating her quickly without anger or hatred. Then I left them all there.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. I wrote the dream out on a sheet of paper since I didn't have my journal handy, then promptly lost the paper and forgot the dream. Better still, since I thought I'd be transcribing it shortly I didn't bother to note the date. Genius, pure genius. The former friend and I parted company quite a while ago, though, and I remember that the dream surprised me by coming so long after the event, so I would guess that the dream occurred sometime in early 2003.
#2. The secret clubhouse emphasizes the silliness of this whole situation. It was cold and snowy in the dream, with everyone decked out in winter coats and mittens, and I believe the secret clubhouse was indeed part snowfort. Very childish!
I'd gone out of my way to avoid the former friend, so as to avoid being drawn into any petty back-and-forth with her, but I did worry about mutual friends being put in an awkward spot by our break. (One, the nervous girl in the dream, had expressed some anxiety about the fallout of broken friendships, and saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.) The obvious childishness of the dream is, I think, a hint that I need to not worry about this; as I'm too old for such games and if they want to indulge in them, it's their prerogative.
#3. The religious conflict in the dream reflects a religious conflict between the former friend and me. She's an ecclectic Christian; I'm a sort-of Hindu. She claimed that I made anti-Christian comments; I don't remember doing so and she would not or could not offer up any examples of it. I am still a bit touchy on this issue, as I suspected (and still do) that the real issue was that I disagreed with her on a number of other issues. Labelling me as anti-Christian and making a bigotted villain of me was just easier for her than letting her friends have opinions and experiences that did not match her own.
I do not see the end of the dream as a triumph of my god over her god, or of my being right and her being wrong. If anything, I think there is in it a warning against that kind of thinking. I see an affirmation that I am stronger than I think, a reminder that I don't need to keep my guard up against future drama or worry about mutual friends in the line of fire. I simply need to draw a line between that time and this, and move on past it.
