Dream: A best friend revisited
May. 19th, 2002 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mokie_edomI dreamt that I went to find an old best friend (and crush) of mine, J; she was at her childhood home. Her father let me in and said pointedly to her in front of me that she'd better watch what she was doing and eating, or she'd get even fatter than she was and her teeth would rot, the heifer! She was indeed heavy and depressed, wearing a battered old t-shirt and shorts and plastic-framed glasses. Her hair was undyed and uncombed and as long as I'd ever seen it.
She barely looked or seemed herself, but in the ways she did, it was more like the girl I'd known in middle school than in later years.
She wasn't fat, however, she was pregnant. We talked, but I couldn't remember the topics upon waking; I tried to cheer her up, but her life had gone all wrong somehow.
Later the dream remade itself, possibly after a half-wakening on my part. She was a more glamorous blonde, like "Other Diane", and was trying to convince me with a bright smile that everything was alright with her, just fine...but it wasn't, it wasn't her at all, and I knew it.
Notes and explanatory details:
#1: The description of J doesn't match her, not at any time that I'd known her. She was bone thin and easily amused, and even when she wore old clothing it was with a certain eccentric flair. When I last knew her, she dyed her hair regularly and wore contact lenses.
The description more closely matches myself, in fact. Am I trying to find in my friends what I can only really get from myself? Did I need to see myself from an outside vantage? Or (because of the childhood home aspect, and the fact that this is a friend from my school days) am I trying to hang onto something from the past, and suffering because of it?
#2: Her father's comments sound more like my inner critic (especially about the teeth), making me suspect it's a matter of authority figures. Am I giving my critical side too much authority over me, letting it grind me down?
#3: In my mind, plastic-framed glasses are associated both with my youth and with being poor (not having the money to get wire-frames instead, that is). Is the relation to a time of life, or to money worries, or both?
#4: Pregnancy is possibility, potential. Again, assuming that she is really me, the hint here is to change my outlook--begin seeing possibilities before me, rather than things wasted.
#5: I'm never sure how to interpret a 'retake' in my dreams, if it's simply having woken halfway up and been reset slightly askew, or if it's something of additional meaning. In this retake, if I were to give it any additional meaning, it would be that I joke and smile and pretend everything is fine, but it's just a polished pretense; that uncombed unhappiness is still the truth, and I need to face it.
She barely looked or seemed herself, but in the ways she did, it was more like the girl I'd known in middle school than in later years.
She wasn't fat, however, she was pregnant. We talked, but I couldn't remember the topics upon waking; I tried to cheer her up, but her life had gone all wrong somehow.
Later the dream remade itself, possibly after a half-wakening on my part. She was a more glamorous blonde, like "Other Diane", and was trying to convince me with a bright smile that everything was alright with her, just fine...but it wasn't, it wasn't her at all, and I knew it.
Notes and explanatory details:
#1: The description of J doesn't match her, not at any time that I'd known her. She was bone thin and easily amused, and even when she wore old clothing it was with a certain eccentric flair. When I last knew her, she dyed her hair regularly and wore contact lenses.
The description more closely matches myself, in fact. Am I trying to find in my friends what I can only really get from myself? Did I need to see myself from an outside vantage? Or (because of the childhood home aspect, and the fact that this is a friend from my school days) am I trying to hang onto something from the past, and suffering because of it?
#2: Her father's comments sound more like my inner critic (especially about the teeth), making me suspect it's a matter of authority figures. Am I giving my critical side too much authority over me, letting it grind me down?
#3: In my mind, plastic-framed glasses are associated both with my youth and with being poor (not having the money to get wire-frames instead, that is). Is the relation to a time of life, or to money worries, or both?
#4: Pregnancy is possibility, potential. Again, assuming that she is really me, the hint here is to change my outlook--begin seeing possibilities before me, rather than things wasted.
#5: I'm never sure how to interpret a 'retake' in my dreams, if it's simply having woken halfway up and been reset slightly askew, or if it's something of additional meaning. In this retake, if I were to give it any additional meaning, it would be that I joke and smile and pretend everything is fine, but it's just a polished pretense; that uncombed unhappiness is still the truth, and I need to face it.
