Dream: Back to school with the Dalai Lama
Mar. 9th, 2005 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mokie_edomI dreamt that I'd heard I could finish up my college degree at another school connected to the university, and went to investigate with my mother and five-year-old nephew 
Zaphod in tow. I looked around the grounds when we arrived and saw lots of small children; it was an elementary school, not a small college as I'd heard. I went to find my mother and nephew to leave, and realized that my mother had gone inside to talk to the staff. Aghast I ran for the office to stop her before she could reveal my mistake and spread the humiliation around.
She was talking to the secretary (who was the secretary from the university), who turned to me with incredulity and doubt. "Kristen...you want to enroll here?" I struggled to save face. Of course not! I'd come looking for a job, I'd come thinking of enrolling my nephew (aha! Conveniently on hand!) She looked relieved and asked me about finishing my degree, if I'd be back at the university soon. I told her the truth, that I had to work for a while to pay off a massive chunk of bill before I'd be allowed, but I made it sound like I'd be back in the fall. I didn't tell her the truth, that I had all but given up hope of ever finishing school now.
We took Zaphod out to a pizza place across the street and then went home. I played the trip off as a social visit, but inside I was devastated and embarrassed.
Elsewhere, a waterfall or fountain drying up signified illness for the Dalai Lama. His staff frantically addressed the problem and got the water flowing again with artificial means, and he went with Zaphod and I to the pizza shop. I handed him a drawing I'd done of a small waterfall at the threshold of his home, a thin sheet that fell down the wall and emptied through five gutters like clawmarks across the pathway. Looking at the drawing, he (and suddenly I too) realized it meant that the water was drying up--bad luck and bad for the Dalai Lama. He left in a hurry to see to the problem, but if he fixed it or not, I don't know.
The shop's parking lot was adjacent to the school's asphalt playground and Zaphod ran off to play with a smaller boy he'd befriended. Someone was taking photos of people in the crowd and one woman with a tattoo on her face began to complain almost hysterically, pitch and attitude rising as the young man swung the camera near her. "Is this what you want to see? You want to see the freak? Are you happy now?" I was afraid she was going to get violent. I imagined myself as the one with the camera, taking photos of people but politely asking them first. I wondered if the woman would be still be yelling then, if the camera weren't actually on her and it was clear that I was asking permission first, and decided I didn't want to know. Instead, I appreciated how sanely everyone else was in handling this, as this woman simply screamed and expected results.
An argument broke out between several thugs near me, and I began to worry since both were clearly armed. I called Zaphod to me to leave but the crowd of kids was thick. As he and his little friend neared the two men, one took notice of the small children all around them and bent to babytalk at Zaphod's little friend--"Well look at you!" and so on. To his opponent he said something about kids making one rethink things, and that they should wait until after the kids left. The man agreed, and the two chatted like friends, waiting to hurt each other until there were no kids near to get caught in the middle.
At the tail end of the dream, I remember a fragment knocked loose by the act of waking; how it fits into the dream as a whole I can no longer tell. There was a shabby bedroom in a rundown house or attic; when the girl looked at it a second time, it was nicely dressed up. One of the views was illusory--the decay a trap for her, or else the second a memory of better times. For some reason the girl is now etched into my head as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV, not movie), though I don't know if she was in the dream as well.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. The first part of the dream describes in many ways my return to school last year. In terms of credit hours I am close to finishing my degree, but attending classes with students the age of my younger sister was depressing at times. As described in the dream, I can't re-enroll to finish until I cough up a large sum of money towards my tuition, and I have all but given up on the process, having come to see it as an escape from "the real world" instead of a legitimate goal in my life.
I think this is on my mind because another friend is back in school with the young'uns and I was trying to reassure her, drawing from my own experience.
#2. The area around the school and the pizza shop reminded me of the street my half-sisters lived on when I was a child--urban, dingy, rundown, not at all safe. I don't know the individual shop at all, but it was one of a chain at which another sister is employed.
#3. The appearance of the Dalai Lama in the dream could stem from two things. First, and less likely, is that it is a memory of the flood of news regarding the recent health problems of the Pope. More likely is that it is again the university, since I was a religious studies major and he is a figure of religious authority. His health being tied in with the water around him could be a literal 'drying up' of my hopes in regards to attaining mastery and authority myself (via the degree) in this area. In the end he cuts loose from me and Zaphod and leaves, and what happens after, I don't know.
Water could be a potent symbol in and of itself. Water centers me, calms me and helps me think. Lack of water or water drying up could be simply no longer having the resources to keep trying for this right now.
#4. I was told once that everyone in our dreams is a piece of ourselves. I don't necessarily believe that it is true, but in the case of the woman with the tattooed face, I think it fits. I worry about how I am perceived as a college dropout, and about being perceived as or called a freak for other reasons. I also worry about losing perspective and behaving badly like the woman in the dream, making a bigger deal out of things than needs to be made, letting my whole life revolve around this issue.
The camera is an objective eye, and putting myself behind the camera allows me to step outside of things. Nobody objects because it's life--other people see you whether you like it or not. The tattooed woman wants to control how and if others see her, though the tattoo is on her face like a scarlet letter means she can't. Nobody else says a word about it or treats her differently because of it, however; she's the only person it bothers.
Zaphod in tow. I looked around the grounds when we arrived and saw lots of small children; it was an elementary school, not a small college as I'd heard. I went to find my mother and nephew to leave, and realized that my mother had gone inside to talk to the staff. Aghast I ran for the office to stop her before she could reveal my mistake and spread the humiliation around.She was talking to the secretary (who was the secretary from the university), who turned to me with incredulity and doubt. "Kristen...you want to enroll here?" I struggled to save face. Of course not! I'd come looking for a job, I'd come thinking of enrolling my nephew (aha! Conveniently on hand!) She looked relieved and asked me about finishing my degree, if I'd be back at the university soon. I told her the truth, that I had to work for a while to pay off a massive chunk of bill before I'd be allowed, but I made it sound like I'd be back in the fall. I didn't tell her the truth, that I had all but given up hope of ever finishing school now.
We took Zaphod out to a pizza place across the street and then went home. I played the trip off as a social visit, but inside I was devastated and embarrassed.
Elsewhere, a waterfall or fountain drying up signified illness for the Dalai Lama. His staff frantically addressed the problem and got the water flowing again with artificial means, and he went with Zaphod and I to the pizza shop. I handed him a drawing I'd done of a small waterfall at the threshold of his home, a thin sheet that fell down the wall and emptied through five gutters like clawmarks across the pathway. Looking at the drawing, he (and suddenly I too) realized it meant that the water was drying up--bad luck and bad for the Dalai Lama. He left in a hurry to see to the problem, but if he fixed it or not, I don't know.
The shop's parking lot was adjacent to the school's asphalt playground and Zaphod ran off to play with a smaller boy he'd befriended. Someone was taking photos of people in the crowd and one woman with a tattoo on her face began to complain almost hysterically, pitch and attitude rising as the young man swung the camera near her. "Is this what you want to see? You want to see the freak? Are you happy now?" I was afraid she was going to get violent. I imagined myself as the one with the camera, taking photos of people but politely asking them first. I wondered if the woman would be still be yelling then, if the camera weren't actually on her and it was clear that I was asking permission first, and decided I didn't want to know. Instead, I appreciated how sanely everyone else was in handling this, as this woman simply screamed and expected results.
An argument broke out between several thugs near me, and I began to worry since both were clearly armed. I called Zaphod to me to leave but the crowd of kids was thick. As he and his little friend neared the two men, one took notice of the small children all around them and bent to babytalk at Zaphod's little friend--"Well look at you!" and so on. To his opponent he said something about kids making one rethink things, and that they should wait until after the kids left. The man agreed, and the two chatted like friends, waiting to hurt each other until there were no kids near to get caught in the middle.
At the tail end of the dream, I remember a fragment knocked loose by the act of waking; how it fits into the dream as a whole I can no longer tell. There was a shabby bedroom in a rundown house or attic; when the girl looked at it a second time, it was nicely dressed up. One of the views was illusory--the decay a trap for her, or else the second a memory of better times. For some reason the girl is now etched into my head as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV, not movie), though I don't know if she was in the dream as well.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. The first part of the dream describes in many ways my return to school last year. In terms of credit hours I am close to finishing my degree, but attending classes with students the age of my younger sister was depressing at times. As described in the dream, I can't re-enroll to finish until I cough up a large sum of money towards my tuition, and I have all but given up on the process, having come to see it as an escape from "the real world" instead of a legitimate goal in my life.
I think this is on my mind because another friend is back in school with the young'uns and I was trying to reassure her, drawing from my own experience.
#2. The area around the school and the pizza shop reminded me of the street my half-sisters lived on when I was a child--urban, dingy, rundown, not at all safe. I don't know the individual shop at all, but it was one of a chain at which another sister is employed.
#3. The appearance of the Dalai Lama in the dream could stem from two things. First, and less likely, is that it is a memory of the flood of news regarding the recent health problems of the Pope. More likely is that it is again the university, since I was a religious studies major and he is a figure of religious authority. His health being tied in with the water around him could be a literal 'drying up' of my hopes in regards to attaining mastery and authority myself (via the degree) in this area. In the end he cuts loose from me and Zaphod and leaves, and what happens after, I don't know.
Water could be a potent symbol in and of itself. Water centers me, calms me and helps me think. Lack of water or water drying up could be simply no longer having the resources to keep trying for this right now.
#4. I was told once that everyone in our dreams is a piece of ourselves. I don't necessarily believe that it is true, but in the case of the woman with the tattooed face, I think it fits. I worry about how I am perceived as a college dropout, and about being perceived as or called a freak for other reasons. I also worry about losing perspective and behaving badly like the woman in the dream, making a bigger deal out of things than needs to be made, letting my whole life revolve around this issue.
The camera is an objective eye, and putting myself behind the camera allows me to step outside of things. Nobody objects because it's life--other people see you whether you like it or not. The tattooed woman wants to control how and if others see her, though the tattoo is on her face like a scarlet letter means she can't. Nobody else says a word about it or treats her differently because of it, however; she's the only person it bothers.
