![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mokie_edomDown in the basin, suicide in the graveyard
Because the second part of this dream was so upsetting, I only remember a few details of the first part.
I remember going with my mother into a fenced off area with a large, empty cement basin. It seemed to be a deep reservoir or pool, abandoned and dry nowadays. Someone had hung a bit of clothesline in one spot so we were hanging out clothes to dry, and I was thinking of the ferrets I had a few years ago, though I don't know why. When we finished and gathered clothes, I climbed out of the basin and suggested that we'd be able to hang more clothes if we strung line directly across the basin, and she thought it was an excellent idea except it would be too obvious what we were doing, and we might be caught.
I realized the truth of this and felt stupid, felt I should have realized we were doing this illegally. I thought, as we walked home, that one day, if we won the lottery, it'd be nice to buy the old basin, and then we could have a large pond, and revamp the old building there as a house. As I daydreamed within the dream, a boy in a cafe with his parents pointed me out fondly as the girl who'd sold him his fish, as did another kid when we stopped at a little shop for a treat.
Next, however, the dream switched to my best friend Afi, who was getting into a red sports car with her annoying brother and someone else, but that someone else, like me, was actually a detached observer rather than a participant in this event; I think it was another close friend of hers, Seth, and that he was only a physical presence in my eyes, that I was observing his observing along with the event we were observing. Afi drove the car down a sidestreet off of a busy mainstreet, visibly upset and waiting for a gap in the cross-traffic, and I realized what she was doing as I saw the cemetary on the other side, and called out for her to stop. In the backseat of the car Seth had also realized what she was doing and was trying to talk her out of it, but she couldn't hear either of us, and ignored her brother's complaint from the passenger seat.
As she waited for a break in the flow of cars, she stepped out and I called to her, but again, she didn't hear me. She saw what she'd been waiting for, jumped back in the car and hit the gas, cutting across the busy street and tearing down the fence of the cemetary. That 'detached floating brain' feeling left me as I screamed and touched ground, running across the street after the car, but somehow the time had changed--it was much later after the accident now, and the events I'd just seen were reinterpretted within the dream as a very vivid explanation of events, offered by her brother, who had survived the crash. I ran past someone sitting in shock on the hill, either her brother or Seth, ran until I could see the car in a deep green tree-filled hollow, but her body had already been removed.
At home I got out of bed and rushed to the computer to look for a message, an email, an anything from her to confirm that this was true. (Had I just dreamed it within the dream? Or had I woken from the dream, but still in the dream?) There was nothing, and I felt betrayed not to have gotten one last communication from her; I thought for a moment of trying to contact Seth or her family, to ask them to just tell me it wasn't true, but I didn't think either would want to hear from me.
As I broke down, my mother was sympathetic and offered comfort and space, while my grandmother (alive in the dream) asked me what was expected of us--were we supposed to send flowers or something? It upset me. We went out to the store, and saw Afi's family there (in dream-geography, it was all in the same little neighborhood), but I was so close to waking that the dream began to fracture before I could say anything.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. I don't know this area in real life. The streets in the first part were vaguely European, small and winding and meant for foot traffic rather than cars. The only thing that looked familiar was the graveyard, which had elements of a cemetary near my cousin's house mixed with a local park.
#2. There's an element of déjà vu to the second part of the dream. I dreamt, years ago, of a woman describing how someone close to her died in a car crash, and as I saw it within the dream it was that red sports car. There was a surviving brother in that dream too. I remember thinking at the time that the dream felt oddly prophetic, though nothing ever came of it.
#3. My grandmother's comment in the dream cut a little too close to my own ineptness. Basically, it's the question I would ask upon hearing of the death of a relative's friend: what should we do? What's socially expected of us? I'm not good with emotional situations, I never know what to say or do. Do I give a person space and thus further prevent the likelihood of my inadvertantly saying something very insensitive? Or would that be taken as me being cold?
I wanted to yell at her to just be there for me, that my best friend was dead for Christ's sake, but even in the dream I felt that odd reminder: when she (my grandmother) died, all I wanted from my friends and family was to be left alone, given that space. I don't know whether the question or the dream's answer was the significant thing here.
Because the second part of this dream was so upsetting, I only remember a few details of the first part.
I remember going with my mother into a fenced off area with a large, empty cement basin. It seemed to be a deep reservoir or pool, abandoned and dry nowadays. Someone had hung a bit of clothesline in one spot so we were hanging out clothes to dry, and I was thinking of the ferrets I had a few years ago, though I don't know why. When we finished and gathered clothes, I climbed out of the basin and suggested that we'd be able to hang more clothes if we strung line directly across the basin, and she thought it was an excellent idea except it would be too obvious what we were doing, and we might be caught.
I realized the truth of this and felt stupid, felt I should have realized we were doing this illegally. I thought, as we walked home, that one day, if we won the lottery, it'd be nice to buy the old basin, and then we could have a large pond, and revamp the old building there as a house. As I daydreamed within the dream, a boy in a cafe with his parents pointed me out fondly as the girl who'd sold him his fish, as did another kid when we stopped at a little shop for a treat.
Next, however, the dream switched to my best friend Afi, who was getting into a red sports car with her annoying brother and someone else, but that someone else, like me, was actually a detached observer rather than a participant in this event; I think it was another close friend of hers, Seth, and that he was only a physical presence in my eyes, that I was observing his observing along with the event we were observing. Afi drove the car down a sidestreet off of a busy mainstreet, visibly upset and waiting for a gap in the cross-traffic, and I realized what she was doing as I saw the cemetary on the other side, and called out for her to stop. In the backseat of the car Seth had also realized what she was doing and was trying to talk her out of it, but she couldn't hear either of us, and ignored her brother's complaint from the passenger seat.
As she waited for a break in the flow of cars, she stepped out and I called to her, but again, she didn't hear me. She saw what she'd been waiting for, jumped back in the car and hit the gas, cutting across the busy street and tearing down the fence of the cemetary. That 'detached floating brain' feeling left me as I screamed and touched ground, running across the street after the car, but somehow the time had changed--it was much later after the accident now, and the events I'd just seen were reinterpretted within the dream as a very vivid explanation of events, offered by her brother, who had survived the crash. I ran past someone sitting in shock on the hill, either her brother or Seth, ran until I could see the car in a deep green tree-filled hollow, but her body had already been removed.
At home I got out of bed and rushed to the computer to look for a message, an email, an anything from her to confirm that this was true. (Had I just dreamed it within the dream? Or had I woken from the dream, but still in the dream?) There was nothing, and I felt betrayed not to have gotten one last communication from her; I thought for a moment of trying to contact Seth or her family, to ask them to just tell me it wasn't true, but I didn't think either would want to hear from me.
As I broke down, my mother was sympathetic and offered comfort and space, while my grandmother (alive in the dream) asked me what was expected of us--were we supposed to send flowers or something? It upset me. We went out to the store, and saw Afi's family there (in dream-geography, it was all in the same little neighborhood), but I was so close to waking that the dream began to fracture before I could say anything.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. I don't know this area in real life. The streets in the first part were vaguely European, small and winding and meant for foot traffic rather than cars. The only thing that looked familiar was the graveyard, which had elements of a cemetary near my cousin's house mixed with a local park.
#2. There's an element of déjà vu to the second part of the dream. I dreamt, years ago, of a woman describing how someone close to her died in a car crash, and as I saw it within the dream it was that red sports car. There was a surviving brother in that dream too. I remember thinking at the time that the dream felt oddly prophetic, though nothing ever came of it.
#3. My grandmother's comment in the dream cut a little too close to my own ineptness. Basically, it's the question I would ask upon hearing of the death of a relative's friend: what should we do? What's socially expected of us? I'm not good with emotional situations, I never know what to say or do. Do I give a person space and thus further prevent the likelihood of my inadvertantly saying something very insensitive? Or would that be taken as me being cold?
I wanted to yell at her to just be there for me, that my best friend was dead for Christ's sake, but even in the dream I felt that odd reminder: when she (my grandmother) died, all I wanted from my friends and family was to be left alone, given that space. I don't know whether the question or the dream's answer was the significant thing here.
