Dream: Managerial gaming
Jan. 17th, 2006 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mokie_edomManagerial gaming
I split this dream into three parts, though I only remember clearly the latter two.
Of the first part I remember only the tone--overwhelming disappointment and disapproval.
In the second part, I was at the home of a former manager, and she asked me if I could help as she was trying to drill into a cabinet but getting nowhere. I said I thought I could do it, took the drill and got it through. All looked good, until I pulled the drill back and found the cabinet top damaged. "You broke my cabinet?" she said incredulously. She laid the guilt on thick in the next few minutes, talking about carelessness and cost and such.
Then guests arrived, including the manager who replaced her (and under whom I now work) and, I think, a couple of managers I worked for at other jobs in the past. They'd come to play a game, but before they started the former manager commented on the cabinet, and this turned into a grumbling session about me. They talked about how slow I was, how inept I was, inadequate, incompetent, and the whole time I stood nearby flinching, hiding against the wall and waiting for them to finish and get onto the game.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. This weekend I attended a gaming session with a friend. Since it's been years since I last played with anyone, and hadn't played much even then, I felt horribly inadequate and nervous despite the friend's reassurances and the congeniality of his friends. I had a good time, but the anxiety I felt going into it apparently made it a good setting for a dream about anxiety.
#2. The drilling of the cabinet is almost funny in its triviality and its source material. The current manager recently drilled into the wall at work to post a messageboard, and I ribbed him about breaking the store. The cabinet is a match for one in my new house, one that is similarly broken. I've considered fixing it, but I fear I'd damage it further if I tried.
#2. On Monday, the current manager talked to me about being too slow on the job. The former manager also had an issue with the time it took me to get things done. Regional bigwigs were coming through and management was very tense, and when management is tense they tend to spread the anxiety around. Do it better and do it faster, do these additional tasks/steps but shave minutes off of your time while you're at it--erf! When you do it fast enough, you're not thorough enough, and when you do it thoroughly enough, you're not fast enough.
Heavysigh.
It's hell on the nerves when you're doing the best you can and it's still not good enough. When your nerves are already a bit tattered thanks to other stresses, little things get blown up into, well, a dream of a bosses' roundtable discussing about how much you suck...
I split this dream into three parts, though I only remember clearly the latter two.
Of the first part I remember only the tone--overwhelming disappointment and disapproval.
In the second part, I was at the home of a former manager, and she asked me if I could help as she was trying to drill into a cabinet but getting nowhere. I said I thought I could do it, took the drill and got it through. All looked good, until I pulled the drill back and found the cabinet top damaged. "You broke my cabinet?" she said incredulously. She laid the guilt on thick in the next few minutes, talking about carelessness and cost and such.
Then guests arrived, including the manager who replaced her (and under whom I now work) and, I think, a couple of managers I worked for at other jobs in the past. They'd come to play a game, but before they started the former manager commented on the cabinet, and this turned into a grumbling session about me. They talked about how slow I was, how inept I was, inadequate, incompetent, and the whole time I stood nearby flinching, hiding against the wall and waiting for them to finish and get onto the game.
Notes and explanatory details
#1. This weekend I attended a gaming session with a friend. Since it's been years since I last played with anyone, and hadn't played much even then, I felt horribly inadequate and nervous despite the friend's reassurances and the congeniality of his friends. I had a good time, but the anxiety I felt going into it apparently made it a good setting for a dream about anxiety.
#2. The drilling of the cabinet is almost funny in its triviality and its source material. The current manager recently drilled into the wall at work to post a messageboard, and I ribbed him about breaking the store. The cabinet is a match for one in my new house, one that is similarly broken. I've considered fixing it, but I fear I'd damage it further if I tried.
#2. On Monday, the current manager talked to me about being too slow on the job. The former manager also had an issue with the time it took me to get things done. Regional bigwigs were coming through and management was very tense, and when management is tense they tend to spread the anxiety around. Do it better and do it faster, do these additional tasks/steps but shave minutes off of your time while you're at it--erf! When you do it fast enough, you're not thorough enough, and when you do it thoroughly enough, you're not fast enough.
Heavysigh.
It's hell on the nerves when you're doing the best you can and it's still not good enough. When your nerves are already a bit tattered thanks to other stresses, little things get blown up into, well, a dream of a bosses' roundtable discussing about how much you suck...
